I’ve just written to another trans girl that I started this blog in large part to be supportive of the trans girl community.
In all honesty … sometimes it’s easier to help others than to help myself, so a substitute purpose has an effective siren song. This blog met that need well. It met my need to “do something” and I did. But, as I realized what I was doing, my enthusiasm for my blog dwindled over the years, and I started to take care of myself instead. It was hard to do both, so I focused on my own journey.
I still am supportive of the trans community too, but that’s not my main focus any more. Also, I have changed my approach. Initially, I allocated my energy from being a light whose glow provides a warming and illuminating effect that many can benefit from. Nowadays, it’s more like a laser beam that helps a very few trans girl friends. That’s where most of my benevolent focus goes, specific to trans girls. I’m clear that this has been life-changingly (perhaps even life-sustainingly) useful to these very few individuals. Emotionally, that’s very rewarding to me.
As for me, personally, being a trans girl has changed too, in how I experience and think about it. I used to emphasize the “trans” aspect but nowadays, I emphasize the “girl” aspect as being the most fundamental. What type of girl? Not that it matters, fundamentally, but the type of girl I am is a “trans” girl. My friends treat me as such too. I like it.
As it turns out, being a girl has a huge set of problems anyway. Many guys who would listen to me when I presented successfully as male, nowadays talk over me or simply dismiss whatever I say. After one such conversation in which this happened, I made a comment to a senior, savvy, insightful cis girl who was also present during the conversation. “Wow, these guys are really dismissive of me now they know I’m a trans girl.” She laughed and said: “that’s how they treat me too. That’s how they treat women. Welcome to how it feels to be a woman in today’s culture.” And so, more and more, I speak out and write with an emphasis on women’s issues as opposed to just trans women issues. This fits well with how I categorize myself: fundamentally, I’m a woman. As to the flavor, there are many adjectives, but none that define me more fundamentally than the fact that I’m a woman: I’m tall, strong, cerebral, trans, blonde, busty, athletic, outspoken, etc.
As to those who choose to categorize me differently, or choose a different emphasis: they’re welcome to their opinions. I no longer feel the need to convince such people that I’m a girl. For example, if someone deadnames me intentionally, I make a few attempts to explain the issue so I can be sure that if they continue, it’s not an honest mistake, as in, at some point I conclude that they’re trying to impose their particular view of the issue on me. They’re welcome to their view. I’m not here to convince such people. I just live my life, excluding such people as much as I viably can, which tends to be 100% at this time. I’m grateful that there are so many open-minded people in today’s society that I can do so.
Politically, at the Presidential level and Senate, dark forces are in control of the country so the battle is not over; as long as people have volition, it will never be because people may choose evil instead of good, sometimes after being duped by bad ideology that inverts morality so that those most sincere about doing good by their standards are in fact the most effective agents of evil. I resist these ideologies, with the key foundation being to understand the issues down to the philosophical bedrock, while being clear that I nevertheless won’t be able to convince people who not open to it. And yet, the force of culture is strong; for example, trans girls and bathrooms are in most places no longer a controversial subject whereas five years ago, the issue was a pervasive problem.
The lone holdouts who insist on their outdated view of trans issues are similar to the lone holdouts on the subject of evolution, and on the basic shape of the planet. They matter less and less every year, as they literally die out. Even so, new problems do infect the new generations; one example is the phenomenon of TERFs: trans-exclusionary radical feminists. This movement has a pre-packaged trans-denying ideological package that they use to anchor them to their view of trans issues, and so no debate is viable with them. Sadly, they are not insignificant in their presence, especially in the UK.
Due to events in the 1930s, history has provided an abundance of material from which to learn what the consequences are of certain ideologies, but when someone doesn’t care and they proceed nevertheless, the only path is to oppose them at every level, starting with the philosophical bedrock.
Am I nowadays more insightful or more cynical? I view those two adjectives as essentially the same. I’m still out to change the world to make it a better place. I write articles and essays, and I sometimes still speak in public. I live in a way that makes me a good ambassador for whatever cause I champion. That approach has been effective. The sub-culture around me has become more educated and positive about trans girl issues in general, and me in particular.
Even so, the most focused aspect of my efforts is nowadays my own life. That approach has been effective too. I’m thriving, personally and professionally. I am, essentially, livin the dream. That’s not to say that there isn’t room for improvement; there always is. But, I’m fundamentally happy (I have achieved, and continue to achieve, my values), and joyous (I am fundamentally enjoying the journey, with a positive view of the world, and my role in it).
Perhaps that’s the best thing I can do in this blog: show other trans girls that living an everyday life, and thriving as such, is possible. I plan to do that. And so, as of today, the emphasis of this blog changes to have more of an emphasis on the happiness and joy of my everyday events … which, in the context of ten years ago, when I was utterly miserable, is actually my greatest achievement.
For example, here is a picture of me, a month ago, at the local post office, after I went there for a normal-life business transaction there. Life is good …