I finally met Kitti Minx in person yesterday. (Her picture is above.) For the next week or so, she is working at the Mustang Ranch, which is as classy a brothel as I’ve seen anywhere, and it’s less than an hour from where I live. So, yesterday, I drove there, and I interviewed Kitti over a cup of coffee. It felt like 45 minutes but I was actually there for more than an hour and a half.
Kitti looks like a trans girl would look if a trans girl had a magic wand to wave at the mirror. She has androgynous facial features, and she’s unusually tall. She told me the story of how the owner of another brothel guessed she was a trans girl and wanted to hire her as such, then was disappointed when she told him that, no, she’s genetically integrated. That’s my terminology, not hers, for “born with female brain structure and female plumbing.”
Trans girls have eloquent and effective allies in many places, and Kitti is not the first girl I’ve met who does legal sex work and also is an eloquent ally of trans girl. What makes Kitti so unusual is her intensity and how outspoken she is, including on social media even in places where bashing trans girls is (or until she showed up, was) still fairly commonplace.
Part of what I love about her stance is that it’s so principled and strong that a great many other quiet people have now felt brave enough to also stand up and say “I agree” — so instead of just one eloquent and clear voice in opposition to irrationality, now there’s a chorus.
In the sex work industry, especially, I view this as a welcome development. For a complex mix of reasons, many trans girls end up doing sex work, including that a great many guys view trans girls as high-grade sexual fetish material. Trans girl porn sells, I’m told, very well. From there on downstream in the causal chain, the consequences are seen in market forces: supply and demand.
Trans girls know we are at a cultural disadvantage and so we tend to be overachievers at our day jobs, willing to work extra hard. Even so, many non-sex-work businesses won’t hire trans girls on principle (a bad principle but a principle nevertheless) and so demand for trans girls is artificially low in the general workplace. Yet, the same guy who before 5 p.m. was wearing his business suit and turning down a highly qualified trans girl in her job application for office work … he might be watching trans girl porn later that evening, and buying trans girl sex services later that night.
For a trans girl who’s trying to make ends meet, sex work is a way to make an honest living, and it’s strangely empowering too. The same guy who wouldn’t hire her to do office work … he might more than willing to pay $200 per hour or more for her to be dressed sexily, lounge about in a hotel room, and have sex with him — with the highest demand by far being for services when the trans girl is in, um, the active position. I can just imagine the “think bubble” over the girl’s head in such a situation, as in “my, my, the tables have turned, haven’t they?”
In cultures such as Germany, there is more awareness of the science behind what makes a trans girl a trans girl (her female brain structure) and thus there is also more acceptance of trans girls. Even so, demand for trans girls doing sex work is still sky-high. The largest brothel in Germany is called Pascha, and it’s in Cologne. It is a large, modern, square ten-or-so-story building that looks similar to the business office complexes near LAX airport in Los Angeles. However, from the basement to the roof garden, it’s 100% a legal brothel, and one entire floor is reserved for trans girl sex workers.
By contrast, in the US, it’s rare to find a trans girl doing sex work legally. Much of the reason is because so many brothel clients are trans-phobic, which means they secretly have strong sexual desires — even obsessions — as to trans girls. Such guys feel guilty about their desire. They repress it, and they hate themselves for it. In a strange psychological phenomenon, they then focus their hatred onto trans girls, blaming the girls for “causing those uncomfortable sexual feelings” in the guy, evading the fact that in normal guys, trans girls don’t “cause” such feelings.
Sexual obsession with trans girls is widespread, and so is general cultural disrespect for trans girls, especially in macho circles where it’s a no-no for a guy to be attracted to a trans girl. The result is that phobia and hatred (directed at trans girls) are widespread too.
This phenomenon underlies much of the stigmatization of trans girls. Word is steadily spreading across US culture that if a guy is being mean to a trans girl, the reasons are an interesting reflection on him, not her — but even so, cultural change is slow. It’s too slow for the patience of Kitti Minx, which is why she’s an outspoken advocate for trans girls being worthy on merit to be hired everywhere, including for legal sex work.
Her passion is rooted in a love for justice, and it’s deeply personal, not least because one of her childhood friends is a trans girl, and at close range Kitti saw how badly her friend was treated after she came out.
I first noticed Kitti when I read one of her eloquent posts on a forum, and I wrote to thank her for her principled eloquence in the service of justice. A long-distance friendship began as such, and it was great to finally meet her in person.
However, Kitti does much more than write and speak up for trans girls. She also welcomes trans girl clients, and although she’s very sexy and lovely, if you think that all of her trans girl clients simply want to have sex with her, you’d be mistaken. At least one trans girl booked Kitti for the entire night, and saw great value in being comforted, and being able to ask all sorts of questions about girly stuff such as make-up and clothing, plus to have a make-up session behind closed doors.
I’m polyamorous, openly, and at the time I came out as a trans girl, I had two genetically integrated girlfriends, both of whom were wonderfully supportive and open with advice and encouragement — plus they were both highly skilled with make-up, so I didn’t have as burning an unfulfilled need for such mentoring. I can imagine that I’d otherwise have been only too grateful to be able to hire the services of someone like Kitti, who is trans-friendly. In her room, I’d finally be able to relax and learn, in a friendly and accepting environment based on understanding — and to learn make-up tips etc. from her.
I’m grateful to Kitti for what she does. Thanks to her: if you’re a “just coming out” trans girl, you now have some more good (yet, ironically, celibate) reasons to go spend your money at a legal brothel.
More fundamentally, if you notice that the general culture is becoming more positive toward trans girls, and you wonder why or how it’s happening … it’s because of rational and eloquent people who speak up on behalf of trans girls, by helping the general populace along, as to working through complex phenomena like this one.