I’ve just advised a nice (and genetically integrated) lady on a forum. She found out that her boyfriend is secretly fascinated by trans girl porn and now she’s concerned that he’s gay.
Really, they should be talking to each other instead, and maybe he’s “bi” not gay, and there are many other things one can say that might be helpful.
However, the main issue to her is: if a guy is fascinated by trans girls, then does that provide insight into his sexuality so that she (and whomever else) can conclude he’s actually attracted to guys to some extent, sexually?
Superficially, the answer is “of course” because what makes a trans girl a trans girl (as opposed to a genetically integrated girl) is her ability to write her name in the snow. Certainly that’s a useful skill to have. But also, what makes a trans girl a trans girl (as opposed to a guy) is her brain. Isn’t that by far the organ that overwhelmingly most defines who and what a person is? To many people, “outie” as opposed to “innie” plumbing is the defining characteristic of being male. For barnyard animals, that’s probably a good standard. However, since scientists have shown that it’s a matter of hard, validated fact that some humans are born with “outie” plumbing yet female brain structure, so we would be prudent to consider the brain the more fundamentally defining organ since that’s what most makes someone who he or she is.
When I was trying to figure myself out, I saw a really wonderful counselor. Very quickly, she’d helped me reach the point where I could objectively conclude that, wow, indeed, I’m a girl brain-wise. Even so, I wanted to be super-extra-sure so I insisted on more yet, so I did the Stanford BEM gender brain test, whose test results showed that I wasn’t just female but in the 85th percentile, as in: if you put me in a line-up with 19 other girls arranged left to right from least to most feminine, brain-wise, then I’d be third from the right.
Was that a nice bonus for me? No. I should not have been surprised. A trans girl, I am brain-wise so intensely female that I overcame all the “you’re a guy” messages from my parents, my friends, and the square-jawline image in the mirror. In spite of all that, I knew who I was. It just took me a long time to stop denying and evading it. My femininity rose as an unsuppressable force.
For that reason, I consider myself and many of the trans girls I’ve met as hyperfeminine. Our feminity is so strong that we overcame the barrage of opposition we’ve faced on the subject of what gender we are. From our most sensitive years, the most influential people in our lives sent us “you’re a guy” messages and even so we managed to finally rise above that.
In addition, we have typically been immersed in guy culture so that’s all we know, and our bodies are awash in testosterone – and even so, our feminity is so strong that it overcame all of that. We overcame violence, ridicule and risk of ostracism — bottom line, we overcame.
If she’s like me, then by the time a trans girl comes out, she’s typically feeling inadequate and inferior. She tries to compensate by outwardly also being hyperfeminine in how she dresses, what make-up she wears, how she moves, etc. For example, it’s 6 a.m. and I’ve just had to move my car from one parking spot to another, and yet here I sit dressed in sexy 4” heels, a tight-fitting pink top that shows off my boobs, and a cute short skirt. I wore that for the maybe 3 minutes I was outside. Did I hope anyone would see that? No. I would prefer nobody did since I’d rather not raise eyebrows so close to where I live. I dressed this way for myself, to celebrate my femininity.
As to why guys are fascinated by trans girls, here is my opinion after growing up in guy culture: Many guys are intrigued in secret by male-shaped plumbing and anal sensuality. If that makes a guy gay then pretty much every guy on the planet is gay so that’s not a good standard. Let’s dig deeper.
For a guy to be fascinated by these body parts is culturally generally considered a no-no so the guy feels guilty. As a result, we have the necessary raw ingredients for this becoming an obsession. That does not automatically mean that the man is “bi” or gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with him being so, were that the case, but liking trans girls is NOT a way of so deciding.
Trans girls are not male. We’re hyperfeminine at our core. Even so, many guys who date trans girls are ashamed of us and hide us from their friends and family for fear of being branded as a gay guy. It’s all really ironic.
While trying to understand myself, I initially thought that I might be a gay guy so I went to gay male sex clubs to try to figure myself out. I observed that the sexuality between two men is so peculiar that it was completely alien to me. I could not relate at all. Then again, I’ve been in bed with another trans girl and even though we both had “outie” as opposed to “innie” plumbing, the dynamic was 100% feminine. I was simply a girl in bed with a girl.
If a guy were gay then he would have been looking at guy porn, not trans girl porn. Hairy backs and male-shaped bodies would have been his turn-ons, not the smooth skin and feminine shapes of the trans girls in porn.