I like to work late … it’s quiet and I can focus on the complex custom software I make, or whatever else is going on in my life. At 4 a.m. my day is typically winding down and it’s almost time to go to bed.
I also live alone, in the downtown area of a small community that’s generally very safe — but for a tall blonde trans girl who lives openly as such 24×7, who knows.
It probably doesn’t help that I’m openly gay, and outspoken. Meanwhile, LGBT folks are the focus of … well, think of the events a few days ago, in Orlando.
The only shooting I want to be in is where I am defending myself or those I care about from being attacked. I’ve prepared and trained accordingly.
Unfortunately, a few minutes ago, today things came close to that, as far as I could tell.
My apartment (more of a house, really — since it’s large, has three bedrooms and has multiple entry doors) has a large non-fenced yard where nobody has any business being at 4 a.m. So, imagine my surprise when I heard a noise outside a few minutes ago. I chose the tactically best door, and opened it. Perhaps fifteen feet away, I saw a tall, dark shadow stepping back to hide next to the wall, trying to blend out of sight on this moonlit night. Sometimes, I already have my gun in my hand even before I open the door. Tonight, I didn’t. So, I closed the door again and locked it.
What would YOU have felt? Fear? Panic? Terror?
Me, I felt calm. I felt resolve (if that’s a feeling). I also felt irked that someone dared to violate my personal space. Really, I just want to live in peace. People don’t have to like me. I just don’t want my rights being violated. As in, an intruder in my yard. And no, my car isn’t parked in my yard. The only interesting thing about my yard is, me. Or access to me, anyway.
I picked up my always-loaded .357 Magnum, quickly put on a dress (so I don’t end up confronting someone in my pink top and nothing else but a black thong) and chose the best tactical door relative to where the intruder was by now likely to be. I stepped out, and methodically swept the premises, eliminating potential places where an intruder might lurk.
The intruder had vanished. I looked up and down the street. There, just the right distance down the otherwise deserted street, I saw a man walking away. He seemed self-conscious. My guess is that he’d been the intruder. I didn’t care about him as long as he was leaving me alone.
So, tonight I wasn’t a victim. Would I have gone out to meet the threat proactively even after the government had confiscated my gun? Yes. I would still have defended myself. But outlawing the gun wouldn’t mean my adversary would be unarmed, just me. Perhaps then, I WOULD have felt fear.