In all my encouragement, cheer-leading and mentoring for t-girls, I am guilty of overlooking a fundamental point: if my enthusiasm is trying to compensate for the lack of enthusiasm in someone else, I’ve overstepped my boundaries.
By that standard, I have certainly done so: I’ve been trying to coax t-girls to come out and make a success of it, and recently it became abundantly clear to me that they were not as motivated as befitted my best wishes for their success.
Even though much gratitude has been expressed for my efforts, I wonder how much of that is mere politeness.
Coming out as a t-girl is vastly easier nowadays. The public is more aware of t-girls existing. A great many shows, movies and role models have helped much in this regard.
Also, the benefits go far beyond awareness … many people, including those who manage corporations, are downright positive towards t-girls.
In the current context, if a t-girl still doesn’t want to come out, so be it … and it’s not for me to push her into something she doesn’t want to do. If she values living openly as who she is, she’ll pursue it diligently. Those are the t-girls on whom I should focus .. those who are already well on their way and perhaps needing an occasional hug or useful information.
For my own journey, the most helpful people are those to whom I could look up to, and from whose examples I could draw inspiration. If I really want to help t-girls, that seems to be the better way: be a good example.