Anti-Climactic Coming-Out Events

I mentor a few t-girls, and one of them has just sent me an email that had me blinking back some tears.

Basically, as so many t-girls do, she realized she’s a t-girl but she actively hid her femininity from public view for years — or so she thought. She grew some facial hair and hoped that this would help. As to guys, it did. Most guys don’t exactly excel at social nuances.

Females, on the other hands …. are very observant. As it turns out, one of her female acquaintances had figured her out but had just kept quiet about it … for many years.

When the t-girl finally showed up without facial hair at a public event, the other lady exclaimed with “Finally! What took you so long to come out as the girl you are? I had you figured out many years ago; I was just waiting for you to come out publicly” — or words to that effect.


I discussed the above with my girlfriend, who has by now known me for several years and had been very non-surprised when I came out to her very early in the dynamic — long before we became a romantic item — as being a t-girl.

Today, she mused that she’s surprised that anyone had ever thought of me as being other than a girl. She elaborated as to some tell-tale signs that she had noticed (but that few others probably had).  Then again, she is one of the most observant people I know.

My point: if you’re a t-girl who’s stressing about coming out … maybe to the people closest to you, it’ll be much less of a surprise than you might think.


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