If you’ve been reading this blog for long enough, you know that I manage several small businesses, including an automotive engineering shop. Tiny as it nevertheless is, it has multiple divisions. One of these specializes in highly complex, high-end automatic transmissions made by the German industrial giant whose name is ZF. These transmissions are used in:
- Range Rover
Of course, nowadays, computers are integrally involved. No worries, I’m a computer geek too. If you can work with complex custom software, then complex automatic transmissions are comparatively simple. For example, one of my best-ever software engineers is a 5′-tall pretty girl. She owns two BMWs with ZF transmissions. One of them needed repair because an exhaust shop had destroyed it. So, she cheerfully assembled a working transmission from the bits and pieces of three separate transmissions. Then, she and another software engineer (me) installed the transmission into her white convertible BMW and she drove the car on a 2000+ miles road trip. It ran perfectly and has been running perfectly ever since. That was three years ago.
Anyway, I subscribe to a transmission list service in which various people (so far, mostly guys) ask questions about a particular transmission-related problem and then other folks try to offer free advice. I’ve subscribed to it for a long time and I have yet to see something useful-to-me come across the wire, but who knows. Maybe one day it will, or maybe one day I can help someone. I certainly know a lot about these particular types of transmissions, by now. I’d better. I own two Audi A6 Quattros with this type of transmission, and several BMWs with this type of transmission. And before you’re overly impressed: no, they’re not all registered or even driveable.
Now and then one of the members posts something personal. It’s not really the ideal forum for that, but boys will be boys, I suppose. Anyway, one member who runs a transmission shop in PA posted this picture.
I “get it” but for those who are a little slow, a caption would have been nice. Sadly, the gentleman seems to have been a little overwhelmed at the time, so he didn’t add a caption. Later, he made an excellent recovery and posted:
Caption should of said look at this tranny in a target restroom
English is my third language. However linguistically unskilled I am, I could nevertheless find much room for improvement in the grammar for the above caption. Even so, his point is nevertheless clear. He’s cleverly making a pun with “tranny” (as in, slang for transmission) and “tranny” (as in slang for transsexual). Sparkling humor, to be sure.
For bonus points he’s tying this to the national topic-du-jour, which is that the Target Corporation has figured out that 4 inches of mostly-limp flesh don’t really outweigh a person’s brain as to what’s fundamental to categorizing a person by gender.
The brain is where ideas, thought, judgement, virtue, vice, motor control, emotions … heck, everything underlying character and personality … all reside. So, maybe a person with a female brain is female regardless of whether (like me) she has these few inches of extra flesh for now.
Those four inches of flesh are used mostly for urine discharge, but for guys they are also used for mostly-disappointing sexual performance (not fun) or hours of solo pleasure while eating Cheetos and watching porn (great fun, supposedly). Even though so many guys think these few inches or mostly-limp flesh are so very important, the Target Corporation folks still insist the brain is at least slightly more important. So do I.
Apparently, some folks disagree with the Target Corporation and with me, and they’re upset. Hence the controversy.
I assume that’s what our amateur humorist was getting at — even though he didn’t capitalize the word “target” which now reduces the phrase “target restroom” to also perhaps mean a restroom that someone is targeting … complex language, English.
Anyway, I found the humor timely since just yesterday evening I had made a point of visiting the local Target department store in Sparks, NV and I had spent money there on general principle. Here’s my picture, taken yesterday. I like that picture. In fact, I like it so much that I posted it in response to the gentleman’s post, gently pointing out a problem with his humor.
To explain: He had taken a picture of a men’s restroom, supposedly that of a Target Corporation restroom. It shows a urinal. Urinals are not found in female restrooms. Girls (yes, including t-girls like me) prefer to sit and pee. Just like real girls .. mostly because we ARE real girls. So, I gently pointed out:
Except that I’d be in the female restroom … that’s the whole point.
And yes, some of the nicest people on here who fix transmissions are transsexual chicks. We’re born with female brains and male plumbing. Hate us, beat us up, set us on fire, make dumb-ass jokes … we’re used to being treated like crap. Sort of like blacks in the 30s through 70s. Assuming these are inferior human beings, joke away. It’s fine.
Not that I think black people or trans girls are inferior but much alleged humor seems to be based on that premise. So, as long as the premise holds, that could be very funny humor. Unfortunately, the premise doesn’t really hold up but … that really shouldn’t be news any more, in 2016. Why, one of these years, a guy with a great mind like Dr. Ben Carson might actually last for a while as a presidential candidate even though (gasp) he’s black. Why, maybe one day a black guy might even be elected as mayor, somewhere.
Anyway, I didn’t wanna spoil the cheerful tone of the thread too much, so I also added some humor, in the form of the below picture with the caption:
Here’s some more humor, me (a transsexual chick) doing a Statue of Liberty simulation using the clutch A drum out of a ZF 5HP-24A. The original ZF part. Not the one used in the early A8 cars; the one after ZF beefed it up, until they figured out the problem was really with the valve body pressure regulator wearing out and over pressurizing the A drum. Amazing what trans chicks know huh?
Sadly, nobody else has as yet contributed any more humor to that particular thread.
Subsequent development 1: A very nice gentleman who runs a transmission shop in Vancouver, BC wrote benevolently and publicly:
My young daughter always Jokes with me . “Dad went to a Tranny Convention in Las Vegas” Tanya Good for you to speak up. Keep up the good work and keep on being a “Tranny Mechanic” !
That was nice, and I responded in kind.
Subsequent development 2:The gentleman suggested that the transmission industry insider magazine should maybe do an article on me, and I responded:
Wow, thank you. Maybe next year? Let’s wait until I’m a glowing success. Right now I have the ZF 4HP-22 down but I wanna get good with the ZF 5HP-24 units before we shine the spot-light on me. Girl or no girl, let’s judge me on merit, and right now there’s still more struggle than success. When you see a procession of dead Audis, Jaguars and BMWs come alive as they move through my shop, then it might be article time.