I’ve recently befriended and subsequently annoyed a really nice lady. She sells vintage clothing of high quality and at shockingly low prices. She’s a good person, and passionate about justice. She speaks her mind and is energetic and eloquent. She’s open-minded as to someone being a t-girl, and it occurred to her that perhaps t-girls are a good target market. That’s how I met her, online anyway.
Many emails were exchanged and a friendship began and then steadily grew.
Last week, she forwarded to me an email from a guy who is enthused about t-girls (and not just in a bland way) and he was pretty darn explicit about it. However, the main reason he was writing was to offer some marketing suggestions. She found his email highly offensive, and was passionate in her explanation to me that girls, including t-girls, deserve better.
I appreciate her passion for justice, and said so. However, I also tried to explain that t-girl sexuality (and for that matter, all human sexuality) is far more complex than can be helped along by discouraging sexuality that someone finds offensive, and thinks should be offensive to others too. In general, whenever I see person A trying to save person B from her own sexuality, I wonder if person A is helping or harming.
Sexuality is part of human experience. I can’t speak for everyone, of course, but for myself and many of my female friends, t-girls as well as genetically integrated girls, there are times when we want sexual intensity without all the complications of a relationship with a guy. In such a situation, the guy whom my friend considers disgusting might be perfect.
Anyway, I tried to convey my gentle disagreement while emphasizing that it’s nice how much she cares, but I either didn’t do a good enough job of packaging my opinion, or there was no way to package this the right way. I haven’t heard from her since then. That’s a pity, since I like her and I suspect I could have added much value to her business.
A t-girl is, at the root, simply one more type of girl. That includes being a sexual being. In fact, until a t-girl’s testosterone levels drop due to age or going on hormones, she might well be more sexually wild than the equivalent genetically integrated girl, because that’s the effect that (all other things being equal) testosterone tends to have. But, being more sexual doesn’t make a person bad.
In my experience, and from what I’ve observed, many t-girls actually use sexuality to inspire them in their journey to looking better and becoming more feminine as to their style. In fact, many motivational posters for t-girls have exactly that theme. Many t-girls are actively working towards the point where their looks and grace inspire guys or girls to treat the t-girl as just one more girl, in bed.