I like it when what I know and do empowers other good people, and if it’s something from which they greatly benefit, while it costs me very little, better yet. Trans girls like me often feel embattled and overwhelmed, so I enjoy mentoring them especially.
I’m fine with one-time or occasional meetings and long-distance friendships, but if my influence is more helpful than harmful, then perhaps more intense exposure thereto might be better yet. Such an experiment, spanning almost five months, has just concluded. This article is the report for that.
I have a spare bedroom, and although I’m broke most of the time, most days if I double my grocery bill, then I can still make ends meet. And I always enjoy good, honest company, and some informal help with the many things I juggle in life.
Barring any crises, I can probably afford to make a spare bedroom available to a roommate so that she has a safe, warm, dry roof over her head, a bed to sleep on, laundry, use of my Wi-Fi, the bathroom, towels, and I make her meals and buy her snacks and pay for the household stuff like toilet paper, paper towels, etc. The place where I live has a laundry available as part of the arrangement, so that’s helpful too.
More important yet, I’m a t-girl openly and I’ve made some progress as to that journey, with some insights to share. So, my place is t-girl friendly, and a girl who’s still feeling awkward can use this safe space to learn how to put on make-up, dress, walk, talk as the girl she is. As much as she likes, I’m fine with making training part of her daily routine, and allocating some of my time and energy to that. My guidance ranges from tactical to strategic to philosophical, and the girl is welcome to use as much or as little of my advice as she chooses. My girlfriend is also, of course, t-girl friendly so she adds to the insights, the assistance, and the benevolent t-girl-friendly ambiance.
If you’ve watched too much t-girl porn then you are probably now wide-eyed, imagining the steamy sexual nights that must be unavoidable with two trans girls living together. You’d be much mistaken. The ambiance here was more like an episode of “Friends.” Not that we’re not each a sexual being, but whatever wild desires we had for ravishing a pretty girl in bed, we didn’t focus that on each other. We were roommates, and soon friends, and then close friends.
This all sounds very one-sided, as if I were adopting an adult. That was not the case. She added a vast amount of value. Here are a few examples:
- I’m pretty overwhelmed with everything I juggle, and I appreciate any help I can get. She helped immensely. When this girl moved in, my apartment looked very different than it does now. It is now vastly more organized. Things are neatly stacked, catalogued, and when I need to find something, I easily can.
- She’s also very practical and creative. For example, my roof leaks. Since I live in the desert, that’s hardly ever a problem, because it hardly ever rains, However, when it does, it rains A LOT. So, she made a clever contraption: a string of cord that is attached to the point in the ceiling where the water drips down, and the cord runs diagonally down to a plastic tub to contain the water. That’s much better than a ruined ceiling and carpet.
- Boxes that were in the front room and belonged in the kitchen, are now in the kitchen and vice versa. Items that were mystery items in boxes are now identified in a database.
- She’s also a computer geek, so thanks to her, my network now has a nice proxy server enabled.
- My home now has a sophisticated security system that she set up.
- She’s former Military, and gun-savvy. After we’d go target shooting, she’d clean the guns for me.
- Clogged plumbing? She knew how to fix it, and did.
- When I needed help towing a car from one place to another, she helped. Multiple cars, actually.
- My mom’s Audi’s headlights, and my own Volvo’s headlights, were hazy. She polished them and buffed them. Now they look almost brand new.
- My sad collection of old cars is a lot less sad now thanks to her help.
- When I needed help, removing a transmission from a car in a junkyard, she helped.
- When I needed to figure out how to dismantle and fix a transmission, she helped.
- When I needed to empty my storage shed out, she helped.
- I needed to have someone drive me to Las Vegas while I worked on my laptop during the trip. She drove, and made her car available for the trip, besides.
I could go on and on. This lady is smart, and she added much value. Her being here was a “win” for me. I cried when she left. So did she. I’ll miss her. I already do, in fact.
She stayed here for almost five months. It’s safe to say she would still be here, but someone she’s known for a long time is having a severe personal crisis, and so she left to go help. She might be back to come live here again, or not. At that point, the room might still be available for her, or not.
Anyway, in future articles, I plan to write down what worked, in the hope that what I did right can help my readers, too. And who knows, maybe the picture sounds so compelling that I thereby attract the next Supergirl.