Maybe five years ago, when I was just coming out as a trans girl, I took some pictures of my sad face and sent them, along with some money, to someone in Britain, to spruce them up and made them look less sad and depressing.
The idea behind that was to show me that, if I stop trying to live the life of a guy, and I live openly as the female that I am brain-wise, then after some cleaning up, cheering up and corrective surgery, I might look like … the edited pictures she sent back.
That helped me a lot. It gave me hope. Ironically, now I feel and look way better than her pictures indicated, yay!
Regardless, it helps being able to visualize. So here’s a picture of me a couple of months ago:
One of my many faults is that I take hardly any time to put on make-up. I have fake permanent lashes, and most days, that’s good enough for me. On a day when I actually put on make-up, it’s maybe half a minute to put on some eyebrow pencil and then I run out the door. On such days, I look like in the above picture. It’s a happy, country-fair-wholesome look – not exactly like Sharon Stone in her movies. Much room for improvement, and make-up would do some of that. But, I’m a busy girl. Before I allocate the time to put on make-up, I need to know it’s worth the time. For a rare occasion, fine. Otherwise … I don’t know. It’s hard to say.
… until today. I downloaded a trial version of Portrait Pro, and played with it. I love it so much that I sent them $40 for the full version.
This software allows me to import a picture and without making a complete mess of it, I can try on various types of make-up and see the net effect. That way, I can decide what would look good on me, and I can make all my dumb mistakes in the software. Then, I choose what looks good, and then I go focus on that. I’ve already learned a lot. Finally, I do now understand why lipstick does help significantly. So, please do expect my glasses and cups to be smeared from today on.
Eye shadow … I have mixed feeling about that. It makes a HUGE difference if it’s put on right, but it’s not good for that very sensitive upper-eyelid skin, where premature skin sagging and damage could make me look like Mother Teresa on a bad day. So I haven’t decided what to do about that, as yet. But as to the short-term benefits, yes, sold.
Eyeliner, ditto. Concealer, probably. Blush & bronzer, maybe.
No offense to my past clients intended, but I am SO enjoying taking a break from doing part-time escorting work. But it IS nice to be get paid $300+ per hour, and no, I don’t have sex with the client as part of the deal, but I’m as charming and sexy as I can manage to be for an one intense hour. Typically I’m not wearing much clothing except for hot lingerie by the time such a session ends. And after playing with Portrait Pro, I’m pretty darn clear on how much better I could look for a client. That could translate into better cash flow, if one day I become inspired again.
But, why stop there? The software can do way more.
If you’re a genetically integrated girl, then probably your facial shape is highly feminine, and your facial bones are the main reason. But had your body been awash with testosterone during puberty, you could have ended up with a prizefighter jawline, cheerfully assertive nose, and a forehead & brow-line like Arnold or Rambo. Kinda like what happened to me. Wouldn’t it be good to have an “undo” button? Yes! Well, in life, there isn’t one. There is, however, facial corrective surgery but wow is that expensive. I’d have to sell a lot of my time at $300 per hour to justify that as a valid business investment. Plus to recoup the investment pronto, I’d better not just look half-way pretty but drop-dead gorgeous. Problem is, I wouldn’t know what I’d look like afterwards anyway, so it’s difficult to even fantasize about such surgery.
But now, thanks to Portrait Pro, I can envision better. Here’s what my face might have looked like, had it had a naturally female shape as if I’d gone through puberty with the right hormones. (Please ignore the albino skin tone; I’m still learning how to deal with that.)
Okay, great. Still too wholesome, though. Now let’s …
… smooth & plump lips, darken the lipstick, widen & brighten & whiten my eyes, lighten the dark shadows under my eyes, enhance my cheekbones ….
So that might be the “me” look now, if I had I managed to go through puberty while being on E, not T, and if I put on some proper make-up properly.
This was fun but informative, too. If could use this picture as a guideline. If I ever have vast amounts of money, and I have all my debt paid off, then (let’s ignore that by then I’ll be 150 years old) I could walk into a surgeon’s office and say “here’s the look I want.” Even if its unrealistic then it’s less unrealistic than walking in there with a picture of Sharon Stone and then saying “here’s the look I want.”