I’m currently mentoring two trans girls in person. As so many trans girls do, each of them started out trying to make sense of their strong need to live in a way that’s consistent with their fundamentally female sense of self. This included wearing female clothing.

Both of them grew up in a cultural context in which it would be totally unacceptable for a man to dress as a woman. Not realizing at the time that

a) it’s fine for their happiness to be valued and the opinion of bigots to be dismissed and

b) their brain structure makes them female anyway, hence their deep-seated need to dress as a female

… they would go through cycles. Each of them would resist the need to dress as the girl she is, and then finally give in and get her hands on female clothing, and then feel disgusted with herself, throw it all away — and the cycle begins again.

The lady who told me the story today also mentioned that she experienced much anger during the time when she was trying to resist.

Eventually each of them figured out that they’re trans girls, and that dressing and living in a way consistent with who they are, is not just fine but a mark of integrity.