I wish a happy Holiday season to my wonderful friends and the readers of this blog with whom I am not friends yet, but maybe will be one day.
As for me, I’m having a happy Holiday season too. I was recently describing how happy I am nowadays, in a conversation with a friend. I made some or other comment to the effect that it sure is nice to be rich.
Then I stopped, and thought about it, and felt a little ridiculous. Financially, that’s the last word that should be used to describe me. I live in a humble apartment that was built in 1937 in Nevada. By Nevada standards, that’s sort of like a British building that was build in the year 800 or so. When this building was built, Christopher Lloyd, the actor who played “Doc Brown” in the Back to Future movies, hadn’t even been born yet. The rent is $500 and sometimes it’s a struggle for me to pay it on time.
Here’s I am by my front door. And yes, that IS a pink cowgirl hat, and yes, I DO wear it to protect myself from the sun.
Depending on which car starts that day, my daily driver is either a 26-year old BMW with a driver side door that doesn’t lock or even have door paneling any more, or a 24-year-old Volvo 240 wagon that until recently didn’t have a back window, and whose heater is stuck to “ON” with the fan always “ON” too. And yet, I’m happy with what I drive.
I have a lot of business debt, and both of my main businesses are struggling, albeit valiantly. Each of them might be on the verge of a breakthrough — which is what I’ve said about pretty much every business I ever founded until the day I had to shut it down … but still. Hope springs eternal.
I’m a happy girl. I’m living as who I am, with integrity, and consistent with my own values. I feel healthy and happy. A few years ago, I stopped hating myself for having been born a trans girl. Then, I started seeing some benefits to offset the drawbacks. And now, I’m just happy with who I am.
Because I live in Nevada, the Holiday Season celebrations start on Nevada Day, which was October 30th in 2015. Then Halloween, and then Walgreens removes the ghost costumes and its decor becomes a cheerful orange-and-tan. Yay for Thanksgiving … but don’t stop celebrating because soon it’s December 6th so it’s Hanukkah. Yes indeedy, some of my best friends are Jewish so yay for Hanukkah!
Then there’s just enough time to take a deep breath because, oh wow, it’s Winter Solstice (December 22nd) and the festivities keep roaring along with a peak on Christmas Day and another one on New Year’s Eve. Because January 1st is a Friday, hey, then it’s weekend anyhoo, so let’s have some more fun. By January 4th, I suspect that normal life will resume again, almost as a relief, with Las Vegas and Reno casino-and-hotel staff all sleep-deprived, and everyone else wondering why normal life actually feels so abnormal after two months of revelry.
By then the darkest and would-be-miserable days of winter are a distant memory and we’re already starting to notice the days getting longer, when we’re not to busy looking at the ski reports as to fresh powder and snow-pack in the Sierras.
Life is good. Am I concerned about all the troubles in the world? Actually, yes. But now my personal miseries about being a trans girl are no longer part of my burden. I can look at the world as a happy, integrated human being and deal with its issues.