If it’s Detrimental to you, say Sayonara

Cooking is one of the skills I enjoyed learning at a way, way early age but being a t-girl in stealth mode I did so mainly surreptitiously. Even though I didn’t at the time understand my feminine inclinations well, I did correctly evaluate them as something the outside world would use to harm me so I trusted no-one as to that aspect of my mental process. My parents didn’t know, my friends didn’t know — nobody.

It’s really easy to keep a secret. You just don’t tell anyone.

So, now that I’m an adult and totally “out,” I enjoy cooking. Problem is that what I eat I plan very precisely — and what I eat rarely needs to be prepared aside from sticking a bowl of something in the microwave oven. The closest I typically come to cooking is on rare days when I make an omelet.

The reason I manage what I eat so carefully is that many t-girls look overly masculine due to their bulk, and even if this isn’t a fat tummy, but arms, chest, etc. then it’s still not a feminine shape.

The doctor who performed my Adam’s apple surgery, Dr. Ousterhout, is ultra-savvy about such matters, and to my immense gratitude, he advised me accordingly.

To see what I mean, go Google pictures of the lovely Kate Upton. She has large and lovely boobs but what makes her figure so extra sexy is that the rest of her figure is lean.

So, I am now indeed very gradually losing weight. As a conscious effort; this is new. I’m now at about 180 and have been this weight for a year or so. But now I’m ready to shrink. By the time I’m where I wanna be, I’ll be 160 or 155. Most of those 20 or 25 lost pounds will be fat and some will be due to muscle loss. I’m 5’11.5″ so that’s a pretty lean weight.

I take in about 1750 calories a day, which is about 750 less than what I need to maintain. To keep my metabolism fast enough I mainly drink coffee, sleep enough and drink lots of water. I exercise too but not to the extent that it deserves honorable mention.

If a deficit of 3,500 calories means a body weight loss of one pound, then I’ll lose a pound every 5 days or so, which is not so fast as to be unsafe. And there’s some wiggle room too, with a 750-calories-a-day deficit. For example, when I occasionally go to my mom’s for dinner or to the International House of Pancakes for an omelet, or I eat an extra square of chocolate, then I don’t stress about those extra calories; even so I’m not too worried.

The beauty of the plan is that the time to lose weight is before I go on estrogen because after that, weight loss becomes more difficult. And if I’m lean when I go on estrogen and then when I do put on weight, whether it’s muscle or fat, then this will show up in a feminine paradigm so it’ll make me more female-shaped. Brilliant.

Anyway, this being a rainy Saturday morning, I decided that the smell of baking muffins would be a nice addition to my humble home, and I prepared to make some of my favorite brand of muffins. One packet normally makes six muffins, and they are delicious if I eat them that same day. They don’t do well if I refrigerate them. But since they’re ultra-yummy, eating six of them is not a problem.

2015-02-28 12.14.33Almost casually, I read the nutritional info on the side of the box, before I got started. 170 calories. That’s not bad. OMG wait that’s per muffin. So 6 x 170 is more than a thousand calories and even if these were magic muffins, they would not be worth a a thousand-calorie hit. Also, those 6 muffins would max out my daily allotment of saturated fat. Not good at all. So, good-bye, my formerly beloved muffins. There was no way to salvage the relationship so the picture here tells the story.

That’s a good analogy for life as a t-girl (or as anyone). If something or someone is detrimental to your big-picture happiness, and you can’t make it work, then the right thing to do is to say “good-bye” even if it’s sad and difficult.

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