Yesterday was a red-letter day. Why? Because my bra hurt my back so much that I took it off.
It’s hurt me many times before, but until yesterday I toughed it out. See, I’m wearing “outplants” instead of implants. They’re basically breast-shaped thingies with a similar shape, gel-like, substance and weight as would eventually get implanted under my skin when / if I decide to proceed. And, every day for the past several months, I have been wearing them. And yesterday, for the first time, I took a break from that — and it felt really, really nice.
Being a t-girl and having the not-feminine-enough body shape that I do, I’m always overcompensating. I wanna look extra feminine and have extra-big hips and an extra-thin waist and an extra-big butt and huge boobs. Some large-breasted friends and acquaintances have warned me that large boobs are a mixed blessing at best. I understood what they were saying but they didn’t dissuade me. When I chose my outplant breast size, I went quite large — not huge but certainly very large. I like the look. I also like the effect. Sometimes people are unable to maintain eye contact and I like that too.
I have two acquaintances who are both the same general age and have the same natural breast size, 40 inches or more. Neither quite qualifies as young any more. One lady admits to not maintaining her physique, and not wearing a bra much. Unfortunately, gravity was not kind, and it shows The other lady wore a bra diligently and her boobs are gorgeous. If I ever wanted a reminder that there’s “cause and effect” as to wearing a bra, that was it. I’m clear that, if I am going to get breast implants, it makes sense to also commit to wearing a bra diligently. No problem, I thought initially. I was highly motivated. Key word: “was.”
But, yesterday, after months of thinking “owee” every now and then, I have officially failed my own test. I was unwilling to keep my bra on. So now, I’m officially reconsidering, which validates the whole point behind the exercise. It’s like the process of prototyping in software: make a simulation of the real thing, and spend time with it to see how you like it.
I still like the idea of having large boobs, but I also like the idea of taking a break from bra pain without shirking my maintenance responsibility. And with outplants, that’s what I have today. I could just take a break from them. With implants, that’s not an option.
Before I abandon the whole project, one obvious solution is “go buy a much better bra.” That’s a good plan and I plan to do so, and see how that plays out. The not-all-that-expensive bra I have now has certainly done a tolerable job for a few months.
But, regardless of what I decide, I like that I’m being so methodical about it.