Winning One Battle at a Time


When someone finds out she’s a t-girl, it tends to be a happy realization. Thereafter life is much harder in some ways, and much easier in others. Either way, it’s very different from then on.

Problem is, the image in the mirror. If your journey is like mine, then your aesthetics in the beginning were overwhelmingly masculine and not even pretty by any stretch of the imagination. Personally, when I thought I was a male, I had little interest in maintaining my looks or physique or health. I was on my way to an early heart attack, diabetes or both. Even so, I couldn’t summon the enthusiasm to do anything about it. Intellectually, I’d read and learned much, professionally and personally. But as to my non-cerebral aspects, it was a sad situation. And even as to my mental state, one vital conclusion was still absent.

As soon as I realized that I’m fundamentally a girl, everything changed. I was highly enthused to improve things but didn’t know where to start.

As the above picture suggests, a t-girl’s front is the most problematic part of her transition. Typically, that part costs money to improve: Adam’s Apple surgery, breast implants, facial feminization … but even as I saved money to pay for that, I could work on the rest.

I ate healthily, exercised, attended to my skin, grew my hair long, waxed my body and facial hair into oblivion, slept enough, drank enough water, and avoided the obvious vices and dangers. That alone helped me make a lot of progress. And whenever I was glum I could always look at a picture of myself from behind, since that’s where the progress showed sooner than the front.

I know this is a difficult road, but it might help if you realize that your looks don’t define you. If you’re a t-girl, you’re a t-girl due to your brain structure, not due to looking hot or looking feminine to any (key point: ANY) extent.

Yes, aesthetics do matter in the grand scheme of things, but if good looks are the consequence of being radiantly healthy, that’s typically a very good checkpoint along the way to looking better.

A t-girl friend of mine described herself to me as an ugly woman. I sympathize with her aesthetic self-assessment — and wow, do I relate based on how I personally felt for a long time. But, at least she IS a woman and she knows it.

As to the rest, it’s a journey. Once you realize you’re a t-girl, everything else just becomes a change to a matter of degree. You’ve basically won the hardest battle, the conflict within yourself. What remains is the easy part, and there are no further fundamental victories after that. Even if you get Adam’s Apple surgery, or breast implant surgery, or facial feminization surgery, or surgery ‘down there’ … fundamentally, nothing changes.

Everything beyond your basic realization (that you’re a t-girl) is merely a qualitative improvement. It’s just the size of the improvement that varies.

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