It’s Ok to Guide People As to Gender Pronouns

NOV25Some of my t-girl friends begin their social transitioning by focusing on their looks.  I did the same thing. But, if I could do it over, the first thing I’d focus on would be my voice. And, at a price tag of maybe $50 (for tutorials), it’s the best value for money on the planet, as to transitioning.

There’s no fast track. Voice retraining (and more: speech retraining) takes time and patience … for the t-girl and for those around her.

As t-girls, when we’re transitioning, we sound awkward and we feel awkward. The sooner we get it over with, the better.

Part-way along the transitional path comes a point where we sound not-quite-female and not-quite-male. So, people on the other end of the phone have to guess. Guys tend to get most unpleasant if called “ma’am” and by contrast, girls tend to be more socially gracious — so it’s the safer bet to guess “male” as opposed to “female.”  That happens to me a lot, and when it does, I gently correct the person, and all is well.

Tonight, I needed to call my bank due to some or other oddity in my bank statements. I was transferred multiple times, and whenever I was called “Sir” then I gently said “It’s not Sir” or “It’s more Ma’am than Sir.” The bankers were each most gracious, and the conversation beyond that point continued pleasantly and with me being addressed as “miss” or “ma’am.”

In all fairness to whoever is on the other end of the phone, if I sounded 100% like a girl, they wouldn’t be calling me “Sir” so I certainly have no basis for being indignant.

Before I transitioned, phone calls were just a normal part of life. Nowadays phone calls are an exciting opportunity to sound as good as I possibly can — which is a good premise ANYWAY, t-girl or no t-girl.

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