A few years ago I thought I was doomed to live the rest of my days in a male role, and the idea made me miserable. There’s nothing wrong with being a male and living as such, but to have a female brain structure and yet live as a male, that IS miserable. I stopped caring about my health. I put on weight. I had a fat male-shaped tummy. The rest of me didn’t look any better. It was a sad picture.
Fast forward to last night. I was in Las Vegas, and I was about to go out to dinner at the Venetian casino resort with my lovely female romantic partner. I wore a black top that barely contained my large (fake) boobies, and a skirt that clung to my hips, revealing a mid-riff that looks VERY different than it did a few years ago. Now that I live as a female, I’m motivated to stay in shape.
I wore little make-up: some eye-brow pencil and some lip gloss. I’ve seen enough pictures of hot celebrity girls with and without make-up, and I’m clear that good make-up can make a dowdy girl look like a model, but I don’t want to go that route. I want to look however I look with relatively minimal help from make-up.
Being 6′ tall already (or as Susan Anton would say: 5’12”) I tend to wear flat sandals otherwise I tower above everyone else. With my 6″ stilettos, my 6’6″ figure has in the past elicited a “damn, you’re tall” comment from a gentleman when really “damn, you’re hot” or some polite variation thereof would have been preferable. So, I mostly get no help from the shoe department, as to looking good.
Even so, I got my share of stares and admiring smiles as I walked through the Venetian casino resort, last night. Looking good inspired more self-confidence, and I walked more sexily, and had a better posture yet — including automatically pulling in my abs for a yet-more pronounced effect.
As I walked past a couple in their 60s or so, the gentleman (whom I didn’t know from Adam) told me I look good, and his wife chimed in with enthusiastic agreement with words like “you look beautiful, sweetie.” I can mostly identify sarcarm when I hear it, and there was none this time; the words were benevolent and sincere, and that made for an extra-nice evening.
It feels wonderful to finally live an integrated life.