Great Picture, One Premise Problem

I love my mom but somehow I’m still getting mixed messages from her. When I explain to her that I’m mentally a girl and have always been, how some Dutch scientists have done autopsies on transsexual girls and seen that these folks basically had female brain structures etc. then my mom does a lot of nodding, and certainly if she has questions, I have answers. So, you’d think she “gets it” and by implication, I didn’t “become a girl” when I underwent the various surgeries and legal changes. I’ve always been a girl, and the recent changes were just to bring the aesthetics and paperwork into synchronization with that. And yet she sometimes still makes reference to me having become a girl, which undermines the basic logic, and I’m getting kinda tired of revisiting that every time.

By now I’m assuming most of the folks who read this blog are clear on the premise that the old definition of gender, based on body shape ‘down there,’ has gone the way of the flat-earth mind-set. The logically-clean and scientifically-substantiated premises are that gender is based on brain structure, and the earth is basically spherical.

Sadly, one of my favorite motivational-poster websites is using the same premises as my mom does, and so they make references to “becoming a girl” when really the precise terminology would be “change your looks and style to match the brain structure of the girl that you are.” That issue aside, I do love their enthusiasm and their posters. Here is one of my favorites:


3 thoughts on “Great Picture, One Premise Problem

  1. If your mom doesn’t get it, I’m not surprised; she was born a girl and in every way anyone would want to put it and it really isn’t that easy for someone who has long since accepted their sex and gender to get their heads around the fact that, in your case, her son is really her daughter and, as such, wants to change in order to match what’s going on in his – or is it really her? – brain.

    You can explain the science of it all until you turn blue in the face and Mom might understand it… and probably not and for a parent, it’s not an easy pill to swallow; it’s easier to hear a son tell mom that he’s gay than it is to process that your little boy has always been a girl. It’s like trying to explain orbital mechanics to someone in kindergarten.

    I think “becoming a girl” is accurate; changing your body to match your mindset can be seen as “becoming” – just because your mind is already there doesn’t completely make you a girl if the rest of you doesn’t quite fit the description and from what I know, it’s one hell of a transformation.

    The problem, of course, is when most people think of a girl, it’s the generally accepted version – born that way and with the required equipment and ready to accept the gender role that goes along with being a girl. When a guy announces that he’s going to transform himself from “Stephen” to “Stephanie,” yeah, not everyone’s gonna get it and the look they get on their faces when you explain why shouldn’t surprise “Stephen” because while he understand this about himself, very few others will – it’s just that complicated and, for older people, very unheard of.

    But you know this, don’t you? I’m preaching to the choir but I just had to say something on this one – and that is a nice poster!

  2. Love the poster! Very wise insights Kdaddy. I do find some of the motivational-poster’s really depressing in some ways, I think because it’s a lot of hard work to look that good and I want my NOW!

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