Membership to the Ultimate Social Club

I’m super-fortunate in that I’m gay and I know it. Mostly, anyway. There’s some attraction to guys mixed in so officially I’m bisexual, but I’m a lot more attracted to girls than to guys.

I hasten to say that some of my best friends are guys. I’m just describing how I’m personally wired, not editorializing about who’s objectively better.

As a result of knowing what I prefer, I now have a wonderful female romantic partner, and it’s a delightful experience for me. So, what’s better than having a girl in my life? Having MORE girls yet in my life. That happened tonight. Here’s what I wore, and looked like tonight:


Before your mind races off to thoughts of wild orgies, I should explain that tonight’s addition to my social dynamic was non-sexual yet intimate in the sense that there was intense emotional closeness and openness. Four girls (three straight girls and I) met socially and we looked at the sunset, drank pink champagne, ate pizza and talked about … just about everything. I love how female culture is so accepting about diverse conversational topics. We can say whatever we think and feel. Instead of harming the friendship, such openness makes it better.

The contrast with guy culture is SO stark. A male friend of mine, whom I’ve known for maybe 10 years, used to meet me for lunch on a regular basis. I’d be fine with chatting about anything and everything. One day, the talk got into sexual topics, and he got a very pained expression on his face and confessed that one day he’d like to try being the recipient as to anal pleasure. He wasn’t implying anything but sex toys, but I could tell he was very embarrassed to say this. I nodded and was about to say something encouraging but he seemed so flustered that I wasn’t sure how to phrase this in a positive enough way. Shortly afterwards, the lunch ended on a sort of awkward note. That was five years ago. I never saw him again. He’d vanished, presumably embarrassed. My attempts to contact him and be reassuring failed.

With another male friend whom I’ve known for maybe 10 years, a friendly email conversation became focused on the subject of sexuality, and various ways of having sex. My friend mentioned, in a way that came across as macho, that he’d never experienced any sort of sexually themed anal interaction and wasn’t ever planning to. I mentioned that perhaps he was missing out. Whoa! The email exchange ended right then and I never heard from him again. That was two years ago. In male culture, some conversations are like a minefield.

By contrast, female culture is SO okay with discussing anything and everything, including intimate personal and medical details.

Now that I’ve transitioned from trying to fit into male culture to where I’m enjoying female culture, it is SO nice to interact in a way that is a happy and natural fit for me. I like many things about coming to realize that I’m a transgender girl, but being accepted in female culture is high on the list.

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