No Regrets, Emphatically

Today, I happened to see an article about the regrets that people voice on their deathbeds. The most common theme is that people lament a lack of integrity, motivated by a lack of courage. That’s not a basic regret I’ll ever have. I will regret not having transitioned sooner, and I do regret that I haven’t more aggressively pursued a more feminine, prettier and sexier look, but still … a victory is a victory, and this is mine.

No such regrets, here. Once I realized that there exists a proven medical condition of people with female-structure brains yet born with male-shaped privates, I could seriously consider the possibility of “hey, that’s me!”The massive mountain of evidence that I’d been filing away as “overly vivid imagination” could now be seriously considered. It indicated that it’s overwhelmingly likely that I am exactly such a person.

Then began the process of changing how I talk, look, walk, dress … my legal name, my gender on my driver’s license, how I interact with people socially. In the beginning it was very intimidating but I faced the issue and powered through it. And, as I look back, and look at my life today, I realize that it’s been a huge success.

Only a few months ago, I was almost homeless and within a few dollars of being unable to buy enough food to eat.

Today, I am OK. In fact, I’m vastly better than OK. I’m happy and doing well. I still have a lot of business debt, but still — nowadays, I get to choose which of my two different BMW 3-series I’ll drive to work today, or perhaps my Ford van, or my Jeep Grand Wagoneer.

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I love my work and I made close to $3K this week, in my software business. I’m in the shape I want to be in, and I’m healthy and happy.

tanya

 

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