What Started my Transformation

A friend asked me on Facebook what had started my journey of transformation.

My reply:

Basically, logic plus being emotionally ready to take on the issue.

Since I was little, I always found myself acting and thinking and reacting as a girl would but I didn’t have a frame of reference with which to deal with it, so I hid this from others and tried to deny it personally.

I tried to compensate by acting macho and trying to be more guy-like. For example, I laid for hours in the African sun without suntan lotion hoping it’d mess up my skin and that the weathered-skin look would make me look more like a guy.

As the years went by, the amount of circumstantial evidence (as to having a female-wired brain) accumulated and became harder and harder to dismiss.

Finally, a romantic partner drew the hard conclusion that I was still denying. She convinced me to try a “girls’ night out” one night when we were in Las Vegas. She bought me a blonde wig, did my make-up, lent me an outfit and helped me get ready.

That  night, we went out as two girls. Although I was self-conscious, it felt so fundamentally right to me to be functioning openly as a girl  — and it showed me that I could live as a girl, and what it’d be like. It gave me the courage to face the evidence I’d been denying and to conclude that I’ve been a girl all along, whatever the consequences and implications.


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