Coming out: My Parents, Family, Friends, Vendors, Customers …

A Facebook friend, learning about my journey, commented that he hoped my parents and relatives are supportive.

My reply:

My sister and my step-mom have been, and are, 100% wonderful. My bio-mom …. that has been a very difficult road.

At several points, the relationship with her basically collapsed due to this issue. It got rebuilt every time on healthier new assumptions but she still struggles with the issue, and it makes the interaction awkward.

For example, when someone cancels a business appointment with me then even though they provide a reasonable explanation and they reschedule for only a few days’ hence, my mom automatically assumes they’re lying and the real reason is because they feel uncomfortable with me being a t-girl. So, even though she tries hard, her internal concerns tend to shine through.

My dad had passed away by the time I’d realized what was going on, but somehow I suspect he’d always known what was going on. As I think back, I recall many little cues he’d given me such as that it was an OK thing to sit and pee if that’s what I preferred.

I can avoid folks who say “you’re transgender and weird, I don’t like you” and those who barely tolerate me, without becoming a recluse because I’m surrounded by some really cool people, and so the theme of those friendships is “hey, you being a trans girl is actually really cool.”

For example, I look fairly girly already but I am tall and I have a lot of upper body strength and that has come in handy, on occasion.My arms get a lot of compliments.

IMAG9199Even though I’m a girl I understand guy culture deeply because I studied it so well, trying to blend in. I can culturally connect deeply with girls (as a girl) and with guys (who tend to connect with me guy-on-guy, not that I prefer this but it’s their preference).

My romantic partner keeps reminding me of some in-bed benefits too, and her arguments do, um, have a point.

Career-wise I avoided the glass ceiling since I rose in business on the assumption that I’m a guy so by the time I came out, it was from a position of power where I owned the company and had a lot of bargaining clout with vendors, customers etc.

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