Professional Dominatrix Work

Some of my modeling clients tend to slip into a psychologically submissive role relative to me, and how naturally that fits me and them both … that has made me think more seriously about my future in the general “monetizing that I’m a hot transgender girl” business. 

Modeling in private shows puts me in a weird specific market niche.  The best place for me to find clients is transgender escorting sites but then I have to explain to prospects that I sell modeling, not sex. It’s a little tedious. As a proponent of the free market, I hasten to add that I don’t think that selling sex should be illegal or that there’s anything wrong with it; I just happen to not do so in the same way as I prefer to not work on Alaskan fishing boats.

A recent chat with a respected professional Domme friend of mine reminded me that pro Domme girls already have an established niche, and they don’t need to explain quite as adamantly that they don’t sell sex, since most clients seem clear on that already.

So, that seemed to be the better way to go. 

In case there’s some confusion on the subject: the stereotype of a professional Domme a.k.a. Domina a.k.a. Dominatrix, as a whip-brandishing mean bitchy woman dressed in a short latex skirt and shrieking demeaning instructions to the client, who’s squirming in agony — all that is about as opposite from the reality as it can get. I have met four practicing professional Dommes. Each of them is highly sensitive, thoughtful and soft-spoken albeit in an eloquent way. Their ability to connect emotionally with clients is almost uncanny. They could whisper an instruction and it would have more emotional clout than a command yelled by a red-faced professional sports coach.

On a personal level, I enjoy BDSM as part of my romantic life. In early 2007, the lady with whom I was in a romantic BDSM relationship liked to chat online with others in the lifestyle. She convinced me that, in contrast with her online friends, I don’t have much of a clue of how to practice BDSM well. I took her word for it and enrolled for a weekend course in BDSM. It was an intense two-day course being offered at the San Francisco Citadel, a cultural center for BDSM. The three pro Domme ladies who taught the course destroyed all my stereotypes about their line of work. They were wonderfully insightful, and they taught me a lot — interesting techniques, but mostly I learned about myself. I also learned that, as to the essence of BDSM, I was already quite skilled. The areas where I had needed improvement were for the most part superficial.

Six years later, I was musing about life while looking at ads and noticing how there are dozens of professional ladies who advertise themselves as pro Dommes but (unlike my savvy mentors) these advertisers didn’t seem to have much of an understanding of the essence of the craft. And yet, they commanded impressive hourly rates. Reading between the lines, I came to suspect that some of these were basically ladies selling sex — and they had discovered that labeling themselves as pro Dommes added at least a couple of $20 bills to the hourly rate. Their implementation seemed to involve a latex dress, a riding crop and a petulant attitude.

I could do better.

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