Some Progress in Law Enforcement

A former romantic partner of mine is from Brazil, and her parents lived in Minas Gerais, which was mentioned a couple of times in the Transgender day of Remembrance, in Reno.  Minas Gerais means “general mining area” hence mines, mine-workers, etc.  It’s a pretty rugged area.

Recently, a 19-yo transgender girl prostitute there was about to meet a client but instead he and two other bad guys beat her up and stole $9 and a cell phone off her.  That’s bad.

Now, my attempt to focus on the more-positive part of the news:

  • It’s probably also a decent guess that this happens to non-transgender-girl prostitutes too, especially in such a rugged area.
  • She was taken to the emergency room, which is better than not.
  • She was discharged from the emergency room, which is better than needing an extended stay.
  • The cops found the bad guy and charged him, yay!
  • And, the cops are continuing to look for the other two as well, yay!

So, it’s a bad situation, but some silver lining too. It could have been a lot worse.  I especially like how the cops are taking it seriously.  Not that long ago, the mere fact that the victim is transgender might well have made the situation play out much worse.

Transgender Day of Remembrance in Reno, NV

Last night, I met with about three dozen other folks for the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance, with this particular event being held in Reno, NV — a city where, to my knowledge and evidently that of everyone there, things are comparatively transgender-friendly and non-violent.

Some e-candles were lighted and a minister from a transgender-friendly church opened with a non-denominational spiritual reading.  Next, the moderator provided a stack of papers. Each paper had the name (and sometimes picture) of a transgender person who had been murdered in the past year, plus the specifics and location of the murder.

Most of the murdered people were girls.  I noticed that the country mentioned most frequently was Brazil, and the Brazilian city mentioned most was Sao Paulo.  Since a transgender friend of mine lives there, I’m now more concerned for her safety than before.  Even so, information like this has to be evaluated carefully.  For example, cities who track and report crime more precisely can on the surface look more dangerous than cities where the crimes are more of an unrecorded blur.

Taking turns, the folks present at the Reno ceremony took the microphone and read a name and information on one piece of paper, and held up the picture (if any) for the bystanders to see. It was very intense.  I felt myself becoming very angry at this injustice.

A friend of mine sang a sad Fleetwood Mac song in remembrance, and then the group adjourned to a nearby auditorium where two transgender guys, the minister and I were on-stage for a Q&A session.  The moderator asked some questions, as did some members of the audience.  This lasted for more than an hour.  The mood was generally positive and optimistic.

Some members of the audience were candid as to their experiences not being as rosy as that of some of the panelists have experienced.  I was probably the most candid panelist there.  I explained how I’d been interacting with bullies since I was very young, and had come to learn that an intended victim who fights back so effectively as to become a danger to the bullies becomes undesirable for the bullying mindset, since bullies’ comfort zone is where they are in a position of overwhelming dominance.

My sexy black Berretta in its black holster

I described the process of obtaining a Concealed Carry Permit and suggested that transgender people consider that option.

One panelist described how he is working with the Washoe County Sheriff’s Department people to assist them in planning out a set of revised guidelines for when a transgender person is arrested.  As an example, as a transgender guy, he wouldn’t want to be put in with the females, but it might also be dangerous to be in with the males.

It became even more clear to me how relatively positive an area Reno, NV is for being a transgender person.  Many transgender people who leave home head out for San Francisco on general principles, but once they arrive, they find the day-to-day economic realities to be stark even though there is general acceptance of transgender people. If someone were headed out West, my guess is that Reno seems to be a very good choice.

After the meeting adjourned, several members of the audience came up to me to say “hello” and other nice things.  It felt good.

The event was very well-organized, and the turnout was impressive, especially given how comparatively small a city Reno is.

Visual Success, Being “Sirred” by Nice People, and Sounding Like the Girl I am

I seem to have “the look” down well enough. due to my dress code, make-up, facial features, physique and demeanor.

I went to a restaurant last night with three genetically integrated girls, and the waitress referred to us multiple times as “ladies.” I liked crossing the “looks” barrier and simply looking like the girl I am.

* * *

I also explained my situation to the service writer at the local automobile dealership where I had bought my car six years ago.  Over the years, he’d become a friend, not just an acquaintance.

This visit, although I didn’t have much make-up on, I looked very feminized, and he complimented me on how good I look even before I explained that I’d come to realize that I’m transgender.  He was wonderfully supportive. He explained that if he should change my name in their system, he’d be happy to, and he congratulated me twice on having figured this out and proceeding with changing my looks.

Then, with supreme irony, he continued addressing me as “Sir.”  So do many people who have known me for years and are positive and supportive. It’s really hard for them to throw the mental switch.

A friend of mine is a transgender guy. He looks and sounds as male as anyone I know, and yet even after he had reached that point, the people from his past still referred to him with female pronouns.  His girlfriend got quite upset wit them until he explained to her that it wasn’t that they were being mean; the relevant people were very supportive.  It was just a supremely hard habit for them to break.  So, part of my new horizons involves meeting new people and being known to them from “day one” as, simply, Tanya,

* * *

In the very beginning, when I started dressing and putting on make-up consistent with the girl I am, I felt horribly self-conscious and awkward when going out in public.  Nowadays, I actually feel proud and I enjoy being out and about.

Me, at my office

But, as to my voice, the moment I have to say something, I’m still wary because I still don’t sound like a girl, and I know it. How a person sounds is really important.  I wish I’d worked on my voice training much sooner and much more enthusiastically.

So, although I feel fine about my looks, I feel self-conscious about how I sound. Last night I made a point of listening to not just what my female dinner companions were saying, but how they were saying it.  Their voices were very high-pitched, and nasal, and yet lovely.  When I try to sound like that, I feel like I’m doing a bad imitation of Donald Duck.

There’s a lot of work ahead.