Being Accepted, Personally and Socially

I just got a wonderful email from a friend who is dealing admirably with me being transgender, and how happy I am as such, and that I do part-time lingerie modeling and so on.  I love how choosing high-quality friends can have such a wonderful payoff.

That said, one can’t choose one’s family. It’s in that arena where I’ve experienced the most disappointing results.  It really helps me to have made peace with someone else’s issues being their issues.  I don’t have to earn their approval or buy-in.

It helps me to use a bus as an analogy for my transgender agenda for myself. I am the bus driver, and the people in my life are actual or potential passengers.  If they choose to be on board, great.  If not, then the bus is still going to leave the bus station, whether they are on board or not. Although resistance to my agenda is often passive-aggressive instead of open, it seems to have the sense of “wait, the bus can’t leave unless I’m on board with it.”  And, whoever says that is simply mistaken.

* * *

I’ve just come back from a university class about human sexuality.  Today the subject was transgender people.  The material was great, the presenter was great and the guest speaker was awesome.  What I found especially encouraging was how positive the students were. They were encouraging, engaged, intelligent and thoughtful.  Now that I know what a difference geography makes as to culture: as a transgender girl, if I were living in a transgender-unfriendly environment, I would move to the West Coast, pronto.

I’m not even in San Francisco; just in the general area (generously interpreted). Even so, its culture of tolerance for sexual and gender diversity has definitely spread to here, and I like that.

I like that so many people have figured out that someone’s sexuality, gender, personal style etc. doesn’t make him or her a good or bad person, and (to quote some wise words from a friend’s recent email) people should be judged by the content of their character. Whether they’re transgender or not, straight or gay or bisexual, is no reflection on someone’s character. What a concept.  It opposed thousands of years of irrational ideas and violence initiated against innocent people.

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